The sale of palmwine in my house has created the chance for different kinds of men to walk into the house at anytime. And as sweet as I am, I smile and engage them in petty conversations if I'm to serve them.

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning and I had been sent to get some stuffs from the market. I chanced on one of the regular customers who had actually proposed to me.
He asked that i accept his proposal, so that he takes me out to a guest house to "chill". I asked him what kind of "chilling" and without an iota of shame he said drinks and sex. Sex especially because it's been long since he had it.

I looked at him intently and asked him if he thinks that's all relationship is all about, if he knew that he needed to perform marriage rites for a woman to become his wife before he haves sex with her.
Then the sweet talk started and one statement that got me really thinking was; "woy3 de3 mep3 mame a, m3ware wo". Meaning if I accept his proposal and have sex with him, he'll do what I want for me and eventually marry me.

Then I realised this is the line that has reduced a lot of women to nothing but sex objects, thinking they'll be married afterwards but they end up waiting their whole lives, getting unwanted pregnancies and being left with the decision of keeping it or aborting else suffer the outcome of single parenting.

Ladies, God never intended to make sex a gift to be given in exchange for marriage. God made sex to be an act to seal a marriage. That is why the first time a woman haves sex,  there is blood shed as a sign of a sealed covenant between the man and the woman.

I know this not because I have been married before but because when I read through the Bible it is written nowhere that "a man shall leave his mother and father to be joined to the wife only after they first have sex".
The hard truth Christians try to avoid is sex before marriage is fornication. And fornication is a sin against the temple of God which is your body.

Rebecca was married to Isaac before they had sex.
Rachel and Leah were married to Jacob before he had sex with them
Ruth was married to Boaz before they had sex
I could go on and on.

The message is: Sex is not a gift to give to a man in exchange for marriage. Sex is for married couples not dating couples. Don't be in a hurry to have sex else you'll only be taken advantage of.
As for the women who willingly give themselves to men thinking it is an act of love, please stop it. It is disrespect to your womanhood. A man who truly loves you will not have sex with you, he will wait to honour you by making you his wife before having sex with you.

©Akuvi Aguedze