They both heard the sound of the gate opening but with difficulty. Someone was coming into the house, but who?
Efe searched the couch for the remote control but couldn't find it.

"Kobby, where's the remote?"
"It's here" he replied holding it out to his mom.

She took it, lowered the volumn of the television set, got up and walked to the window, drew the curtains and looked out

"Daddy is here" she blurted out with excitement and before she could turn back to attempt to carry her two and a half year old first fruit of love to meet her darling husband, he'd already rushed to the door to meet his loving father, who had just been able to win over the struggle of opening the gate and was walking through the gate, into his house.
With a wide smile on his face, arms open wide, he came to a halt after taking a couple of steps and waited for his son to run into his arms

"That's my boy" he started to say but before he could end his statement, Kobby fell. He'd tripped over a stone
"Kobby!" Efe called out whiles rushing to her son's aid.
"Get up Kobby and be a man" Efe's husband called out.

With tears in his eyes and loud sobs, he struggled to his feet before his mom could reach him. By the time, both parents had gotten close to him, his father picked him up and whispered into his ears; "boys don't cry"

The above scenario or story is something that happens 7x77 times every one hour in our society.
Right at a tender age, boys or men are taught not to cry, not to show emotions and moulded into super humans that even Jesus Christ wasn't. Because in John 11:35 Jesus wept. He wept in public, in front of women. He defied all odds and wept when he saw that his friend had been buried. He freely showed his emotions.
But well, what you're thinking is right. Jesus is not a mere man that should conform to every standard that society sets for men.
The societal pressures our men go through are so gross that when given a critical analysis we realise how inhuman some of these pressures are but no one seems to talk about it not even the men themselves. And it's not because they don't want to talk about it but because they've been taught that men don't talk about their challenges but more precisely, "men don't nag".
This has left counselors with 70% more women clients than male clients. Even with the few male clients, they wouldn't be there but for the influence of the women in their lives.

We walked along the beach in all excitement. It had been fun having to meet up after a long while. But our joy was cut short when two "high" looking guys met us with a knife.
Ron quickly moved forward to protect, to defend and to fight for our safety. He was tall and muscular but these guys were two strong looking guys with a knife.
Yet, he knew that, to be the man society expects him to be, he had to fight.
I tried hard to keep him from fighting but he wouldn't back out. Meanwhile, these people had already given his face a couple of blows, yet he kept on until I screamed; "you don't have to fight to protect me" .
Then he calmed down instantly, as if I had waved a magic wand. He stood in font of me and we watched them go

"If you're a man, follow us" they dared him. But I held him and made sure that he was staying right there.
After they left I could see devastation in his eyes. I could see how confused and helpless he felt but he had to fake strength, courage simply because he was with a "weaker vessel" and he had to be the saviour.

Dear men, it is ok to cry. It is OK to show emotions and you don't have to fight to prove your manhood


  1. You've hit the nail right on its head. Many marriages, friendships and love relationships are dying because of this issue of "men don't cry" thing. Hmmmmm let me end here
    Bravo Senam God bless you

  2. It's been long I cried but this has got nothing to do with manhood.

    I have that defensive mindset though, but it isn't worth it, after all I'm marrying a Lady who doesn't want to be perceived as a 'weaker vessel'